February 20-27
Rituals
Find your sign, and manifest your month.
♓ Pisces: February 19–March 20:
Everyone’s eyes are on you for the new moon energy. To us, your every movement seems like a How-To on ritual. If you want to bake chocolate-chip cookies, or if you want to brush your hair, or if you want to blink, all of these things will be so infused with new moon energy, all your best dreams will be listening as if you are sitting chanting them into being. Did you have the same dream as I did? About the medieval chapel in Western England? That is the placement of your wishes, and that magic is ancient. Well done, you.
♈ Aries: March 21–April 19:
You might want to try your ritual with a closed door, and no record of what it entails. You will be drawing things on your face, and I would suggest you do not use a permanent pen (that shit is for Geminis). I think if you use some face cream, it will work perfectly. Sketch out some symbols and maybe the initial of your favourite muse. Trust me, this will usher in a great month.
♉ Taurus: April 20–May 20:
The best way for you to celebrate this new moon is to be your version of boring. This might be painful for any non-Taurusian in your sphere, but who cares, they’ll be busy celebrating in their own ritualistically-scripted way. If you feel like you might be walking dead while committing to your boringness, you are on the right track.
♊ Gemini: May 21–June 21:
This is an odd ritual, but I promise it is for you to try. Your month ahead isn’t going to be a fun one, but you can begin by showing up. If you can afford a 99 cent bag of potato chips (off-brand), please buy one. Bring it home and put it on a floor that is jumpable. Practice jumping vertically. Pull your breath through the top of your crown chakra to visualize, and get a higher leap. Now jump on the bag and pop it. As you tidy the chips from the room (you can eat them), know that you have killed all the bad energy that you are able to kill. This is the only armor I can suggest for your moon cycle. Sorry.
♋ Cancer: June 22–July 22:
Gross the household out with your melted ice cream soup. Make everyone squirm with your bowl of Lucky Charms left out for hours, turned an undeclared shade of green, and sipped through a milkshake straw. This is you. You are okay to be yourself for the beginning of the week, and you will do us all a favour with your appetites for mush. Thank you.
♌ Leo: July 23–August 22:
ISave us from the nightmare of a Leo unanswered and speak a long voice memo to yourself that has you putting words in our mouths. Your new moon ritual is completely narcissistic and self-obsessed. You must find yourself five different reflective surfaces, and then you must turn them to your face. Look at how beautiful you are. Look at the rest of us being too stupid too see. Pretend that is a correct statement and watch how your month shifts into a new sphere. It’s not dangerous unless you say it out loud.
♍ Virgo: August 23–September 22:
The new moon energy will work best with your legs. If you can move them, or draw pictographs of movement on them, or take photographs of them, or buff them with a washcloth, do it. Your legs are the key to your focus for manifesting the best month ahead. Imagine the strength you will gain as the spring crawls towards you — and picture yourself running on fast feet towards the small primavera baby.
♎ Libra: September 23–October 23:
Celebrate this new moon in a very Libra way. If you have access to soup cans, find two that are matching, and hold one in each hand. Like the gorgeous art of El Anatsui, you will use these common objects to represent your deepest wishes for justice. Did you pick Cream of Mushroom soup? Even better to manifest movement away from mediocrity to gastro-fantasico. Picture your dream trip while you hold these cans to balance you and bring your truest self forward into the next cycle.
♏ Scorpio: October 24–November 21:
fIf you have been waiting for the universe’s permission to be slothful, this is your time. This new moon ritual is a simple one — get prone on a soft surface and close your eyes lightly. Feel your eyelashes and let the world go a bit dark. If you fall asleep like Rip van Winkle, even better. Your wake-up story will have a much better ending because fairy tales are not fact.
♐ Sagittarius: November 22–December 21:
Get an apple and cut it crosswise to make a star. Pick the seeds out of it and dry them in a sunny spot. Find a small envelope (it can be used), and decorate it with cut-and-paste from magazines. Put the dried seeds in the envelope, seal it, hold it to your third eye, and count five breaths. Put the envelope into your sock drawer. Remember to wear socks this month. Forget about the envelope until the next new moon.
♑ Capricorn: December 22–January 19
For whatever reason, this is the New Moon ritual for you: put on your brightest toque and step outside for a tea. Buy a plant, and then create a routine to water it. Pet an animal, even if you have to be subversive in the line-up at Starbucks and pretend to tie your shoe, so you can scratch the little dachshund in the jaunty coat behind their little ears. This ritual is planing seeds for something big that falls in your lap in November.
♒ Aquarius: January 20–February 18:
This new moon instructs you to attempt to come down from the air and connect with a human. Obviously you are going to need to write a list of possibilities for a new friend — just one friend. And this new moon energy will infect your list of ideal candidates in a way that you do not need to double-check later. This must be a human. Leave the aliens alone right now, they’re busy making costumes. Did you see the Doors movie with Val Kilmer? If not, this is required homework this week. You will be better off with it in your memory bank as you watch this moon come around, and then go away.
